As mentioned in other blogs, I am currently pursuing a major in Musical Theater. In one of my acting classes recently, we have been doing a lot of character development work–exploring the physical and mental effects of allowing a character to truly become a part of you. One exercise we did was performing a common nursery rhyme as if we were an animal.

I was given an elephant, so my movements were large and my voice was low. My friend Cassidy was given a snail, so she curled up on the ground and spoke slowly. We discussed the essence of each animal and what distinguished characteristics allowed for development in their character.

At the end of that exercise, my teacher said that each person possesses certain qualities that make them like some type of animal. She then asked all of us to talk amongst ourselves and figure out which animal we were.

Ironically my friend Kat was labeled a cat. Like her name, she possesses a subtle mysterious and feline nature: so this made sense to me. My friend Bailey was labeled as a panther because of her  confidence and attention catching presence.

“What did my classmates label me?” You may be wondering. Well, after virtually no discussion whatsoever, my classmates decided that I was a monkey.

And not just any monkey. I guess one of my classmates must have noticed the look of genuine hopelessness on my face and tried to alleviate the situation by clarifying….

“Not just any monkey!” she said.

“One of those red monkeys you see at the zoo! (I guess she wanted me to ignore the fact that she was SAYING I LOOKED LIKE A MONKEY by bringing me back to some fond memories I had at the zoo as a child…)

So at this point I actually start to tear up because I’m hormonal  but also because IM JUST GIRL ALREADY STRUGGLING WITH WOMANHOOD AND THE MEANING OF LIFE AND THE POTENTIAL OF DYING ALONE AND NOW MY CLASSMATES TELL ME THAT I LOOK LIKE A RED MONKEY.

So naturally I google this “red monkey” and this is the first photo that pops up.

awwwwwwwwwwwdkdjkwdjjswhsjhdhhAHHHHHHHHHHHWWHHATT

Im not sure if my classmates noticed my misty eyes but I suspect that they did due to the fact that they changed their answer to a golden-doodle (which in my opinion is more accurate considering they have the smarts of a poodle and the fun-loving nature of a golden retriever).

I’m smart and fun, right?

Ugh. So that is my tragic tail.

I mean tale.

(Ew sorry I had to.)

So just remember, ladies. When you get a wicked zit or put on a few pounds, at least no one told you that you look like a monkey.

Oh sorry excuse me…a red monkey.

No one told you that you looked like a red monkey…the ugliest of all monkeys.

No one used your face as evidence for the claim that we did, in fact, descend from primates.

I hope you feel better about yourselves now.

Xoxo,

Emma