So I’m laying in my bed and it’s almost 1:00 am. If you know me at all, you are probably wondering why in the world your grandmother of a friend is still awake at this hour that greatly surpasses her usual sleepy time.

Well let me tell you.

I am awake because I am annoyed.

Why are you annoyed? You may wonder…

Well here’s why. I am sick of logging onto Facebook–excited to catch up on peoples’ lives and see cute baby pictures and watch videos of recipes that I know are much more complicated than the videos portray–and seeing blog articles that follow this type of formula…

15 (or any number) of (verbs) you HAVE TO DO BEFORE YOU (insert common life events)

I mean seriously, people.

Do I really HAVE TO?

No.

I don’t.

In fact, I really do believe that my life will turn out a-okay if I decide not to climb a bunch of mountains or eat a cronut.

So being the rebel that I am, I made a list of 10 things that you DON’T need to do before you die as a response to a recent blog that I read entitled, “Things You Need To Do Before You Die” published by PopSugar.com.

Get ready, folks. I am officially rebuttal-ing.

I have selected 10 of my favorites from the list and have written out my thoughts regarding each item. So without further ado…

10 things you DON’T need to do before you die (even though PopSugar.com said you do)

1.) Dance in the rain– LAAAMMMEEE. I’ve done this. It’s not romantic. Despite what “The Notebook” makes you think, you will not end up with true love and a nice make out sesh. You will end up with rachet hair and a serious need for some chaffing cream.

2.) Jump into a pool of jello- Just picture yourself rolling around in a pool of jello. Awk. 

3.) Make your mark on this world– Ah yes, of course. I will try and fit that in right between my trip to the store for jello and my hair appointment to fix my new nasty hair. 

4.) Bathe in Milk– So while Tim McGraw is “sky diving, rocky mountain climbing, and riding a bull for 3 seconds” at least I will be able to think to myself, well I didn’t do any of that, but I got to take a milk bath that one time. 

5.) Break a Guiness world record– Ah yes, of course. And while I am at it I will go ahead and win 17 olympic gold medals and become the President of the United States.

6.) Put vanilla pudding in a mayo jar and eat in public– Yes. This was on the list. A thing to do before you reach your demise.

7.) Meet grumpy cat– He’s a cat with a slightly negative expression. That is all. You don’t need to meet him. 

8.) Cook a 10 course meal– Because that’s necessary…

9.) Forgive people and let go of grudges– Ugh. Ok, fine.

10.) Cage dive with great white sharks-Probably smart to make that the last thing on your list chronologically if you catch my drift. 

Whoop, there it is people. Please know that my intention is not to bash PopSugar.com or to discredit the writer of that blog. It is only to encourage you that you can live your life without an 18 page bucket list full of crap.

xoxo,

Emma

Sources:

http://www.popsugar.com/smart-living/Things-Do-Before-You-Die-31147739#photo-33499580