I Can Explain: A Justification for Yet Another Blog Coming Into This World

 

Hello web friends! If you are reading this, it could mean several things: 1.) You are bored and you think I’m an interesting person so you thought you’d give reading my blog a try. 2.) You needed inspiration (you probably won’t get that here but keep reading anyways please.I beg of you.) 3.) You are my mother. (AKA my number one fan). Any of these options are just peachy so thank you for not hating me. I thought I would take the time in my first blog to explain why I am allowing (yet another) artsy looking (free wordpress) page to grace your screens. Upon further investigation I have the answer for you…

Why Start a Blog?

1.) My mom told me to. She made it clear this past weekend that she thinks I am witty and told me I should start one. So I am doing this for her (an act of selflessness really). I also feel like what I go through on the reg (mom, this means “regularly”) is relevant and important and everyone probably cares what is going on in my life (insert sarcastic emoji face here). Basically, this ones’ for you, Ma.

2.) I Don’t Want to Confuse Anyone. Every other basic white girl has a blog, so why can’t I? I thought to myself, I’m wearing UGGS, I enjoy a warm PSL (Pumpkin Spice Latte) in the fall. Heck! I even use acronyms to describe basic white girl things! All I need now is a blog to confirm to everyone that I AM INDEED A BASIC WHITE GIRL! So with the addition of my mother–this blog is for those of you who were confused about that issue (again, this really isn’t about me).

3.) Blogs are Challenging. Honestly I feel super ballsy doing this blog. Writing blogs is hard. I spent like 45 minutes trying to figure out what to freaking name it. It got to the point where I was like, Okay, i’m just gonna look around my dorm and name it the first words I see. However, I felt that naming my blog “eucalyptus mint foaming hand wash” was too lengthy and titling it “The Archaeology of the Holy Land” would be too #offensive so I had to come up with a new plan. So I looked in the mirror (apparently I thought the sight of my own face would provide some inspiration) and I noticed my pink hair. Friends, my pink hair was not by choice. I had to dye it red for the musical I was in and no one told me that TEMPORARY DYE DOES NOT COME OUT OF BLONDE HAIR. So I currently look like the love child of the pink care bear and the chick from Lazy Town (shout out to all my 90’s homies). You see, the director for the show said that I didn’t look “edgy” enough so he asked me to shave one side of my head and get a mohawk (umm?). In an effort to achieve the vibe of this “edgy”character, I decided to buy some crappy red spray hair dye (according to my boyfriend it gave me more of “a female roller derby type look”).  And as a result, my dorm looks like a scene from a crime show. I kid you not, the bottoms of my shoes, the entirety of my bathroom, and the back of my neck are completely covered in red hair dye. Cute right? So I said screw it, I will name my blog upon further investigation because that’s a detectivey type thing and my room looks like I murdered someone. I also thought it was symbolic of how I overthink things and can learn life lessons and blah blah blah….

So there it is folks (mom), my first blog. I hope it makes you giggle until you pee or at least pity laugh until you feel like a good friend. Stay tuned for more fun times.

Xoxo,

Emma